Once upon a time I saw myself as a man who had the ability to make a woman fall in love with the voice I scratched out and the words I wrote. I'm getting older now and that ability is fading ever so vastly. But, there was one woman that has never gave up on the idea of us being together. Within the years of our first rendezvous, I've strayed away from her. I can't give you a reason why necessarily, I'm just able to tell you that I'm a piece of shit. No ribbons, no lights, nothing to make it poetic in any sense.
I've found trenches that I've just buried myself in over the years. Just laying in wait. Yes, when younger, I could spring up and proclaim an adolescent use that would trail on for possibly another vast amount of time that would keep me above water.. My body is aging, but my mind wants to stay young...
I am sitting behind my laptop - nine empty whiskey bottles make themselves present when I direct my eyes above the screen. And that right there, stabs me in the deep cockles of my heart. It seems like the ship sailed with common sense. The common sense of slapping one's face with the bionic wrestling elbow of realization. I need to realize that - I got to to get my shit together.
Sam...Sam...Samantha. You are the Queen and I'm just the Joker. But with your ever so encouragement - I can feel myself finally becoming the King. You're the woman that has always accepted the flaws that I protrude and has turned them into nuggets of self reflection. Self reflection that hopefully one day I can turn into gold.
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